I never wanted my kids to be "typical" eaters. By typical I mean grilled cheese sandwiches, goldfish crackers, pudding cups, boxed mac-n-cheese... I feel like a hypocrite. I give all of this nutritional advice to people but I don't feed my kids the way I think everyone should eat. The more focused I get on my kids nutrition the more I feel like we slip into that typical lifestyle.
For instance, here's what I normally offer them:
Breakfast- Kashi waffle with grass fed butter, pure maple syrup, and berries.
They eat all of this.
Lunch- Plain triscuits, carrot sticks, organic string cheese, organic deli turkey, and a pickle.
They eat the crackers.
Afternoon Snack- Apple and parmesan cheese.
They eat all of this probably because they didn't eat much for lunch.
Dinner- Ground turkey, brown rice, broccoli, squash.
They eat the rice.
What I'm offering looks great but they don't eat a lot of it. "The turkey is yucky". "I only like parmesan cheese". "I don't like carrots".
Where did I go wrong? or did I even go wrong?
-Am I too hard on them? Am I too focused on nutrition?
-Am I too relaxed? Do they get too many treats too often?
-Are they exposed to too many junk food situations?
-Are my expectations unreasonable? Should I expect them to actually like kale chips and green smoothies? I mean most kids eat poptarts, lunchables, and pizza rolls for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
-Is this just a phase? Are they just being "kids"?
I've tried pulling in the reins a little tighter. No treats, no eating out, no snacking... I've tried being more relaxed. Cupcakes for dinner? Sure! I can't find a happy medium and I feel like it's a constant battle. So much food goes to waste because they pick at it or throw it at the dogs.
It might seem silly to be so concerned with all of this but I feel like the way they eat now teaches them how to eat later in life. Obviously America isn't teaching anyone a thing about nutrition so it's up to me...
What are your thoughts? I'd love any advice on this.
21 comments:
First, Kristin, I have to say that I think you are doing an amazing job! Don't be so hard on yourself. My opinion, is to keep providing the best foods (as you are doing), not stress over if they have something different when they're out at a friend's house or try a sample at a store, or complain a bit, or whatever . . . . but let them grow and experience the different options so they can make good decisions when they are older! Help them to LEARN what is best. I think it takes time. Lord knows I was always annoyed that my Mom made us eat so healthy growing up, and we never had many goodies in the house, but now I look back and I'm thankful. :)
I think it's normal for kids to be picky -- my nephew is 8 and he was SUPER picky until recently. My SIL always just offered what they had and that was it. They are not paleo -- just normal food eaters. You're an awesome mom! You will figure it out! :)
I guess it just gets old. I'm always trying to make new things they'll really like and it ends up tossed in the trash. I think you are right though that they won't appreciate it any time soon but they definitely will later in life. :)
I wish I could help you with this! I don't have kids yet but have always been nervous about this situation arising one day when I do. I'm looking forward to reading others' replies.
When my kids were little they are 7 and 13 now some days it was a battle and I dreaded meal times, just keep giving them variety, try dipping sauces, my son will eat a vegetable if its in say a casserole but put it on his plate by itself and he will tell you yuck. Hide veggies in pasta sauce or pizza sauce. But one thing I refused to do is to make them something different then what we were having and we have the you must try something more then once, my son loves Brussels sprouts but my daughter hates them but she had to try it a few times. And I don't think the occasional grilled cheese on whole wheat bread ever did anyone any harm. Just don't give up it does get easier.
Sounds like you are doing great in the kid food department. Really, as a parent, all we can do is offer our kids healthy choices and let them decide how much and what they will eat. I feel like the more I relax about the food my kid eats the more she tries new things. I swear, just when I feel like she has not had much nutrients, I look over and she is noshing on a whole bell pepper!
Definitely don't loosen the reins too much, or they'll come to expect cupcakes at dinner all of the time. I was an extremely picky eater when I was a kid, and as I've grown, I've found that the way a certain food is prepared makes all the difference. I said I didn't like sweet potatoes because they were always presented to me the same way. What I really didn't like was sweet potato cubes boiled in simple syrup. But roast them? Oh yeah! No, I didn't like soggy reheated frozen broccoli florets. But fresh steamed broccoli? Heck yes! So keep trying new and different ways of preparing and presenting the same foods. Maybe one day it will actually look appetizing to the kid. Good luck!
You are right... All I can do is offer!
Maybe I'll try some different cooking techniques. They might just be tired of the same old same old!
Hmm this is definitely a tough one. Since I don't have kids it's hard for me to say but one of things we used to do when I worked in a preschool was give them a couple choices and let them choose one. Obviously the choices are all things you approve of too but maybe having that little extra opinion will be helpful for them! Good luck :)
Hey love, I am not a mom yet but I plan on having the same idea when I have kids. My mom asked me to try everything when I was a kid and I think that made me a more adventurous and more well rounded person. I also know that sometimes kids may just not like the way your offering it to them. Maybe offer a light dressing or some natural peanut butter on the side with the celery and carrot sticks. Or add a small tablespoon of red sauce to the spaghetti Squash.
Another thing I would recommend, would be maybe try a "new" dish once a day, and try and get them to eat at least a few bites of that new dish. My mom had a kind of no nonsense attitude when it came to food, she wasn't a short order cook and we ate what they ate. It's most likely a phase that your kids are going through. Maybe ask them what there favorite foods are and try making them together, like making your own breaded chicken nuggets, or homemade mac n cheese. Getting your kids involved in the cooking might make them more excited to try there own meals. :)
Stay strong and don't doubt yourself. You sound like a great mom!!! Keep your head up!
h Kristen....I feel the same way sometimes. My kids can be great eaters sometimes and horrible at other times. They would never turn down chicken nuggets or mac and cheese. Somedays I'll give them broccoli to dip in salad dressing and they'll gobble it down. Other days they throw it to the dog. We are in the SAME BOAT.
You are doing a great job with serving them healthy options. You may not want to give them a waffle but at least it is a semi-healthy one, with grass fed butter and pure maple syrup. It could be much worse. Just think of what some kids are fed these days????? I shudder with the thought.
Keep up the good work. Keep doing what you are doing. Feed them healthy options 90% of the time and give that 10% to them as well. We often give our kids something "special" after dinner each night if they have eaten their dinner (or at least a good portion of it). That something special might be a handful of dark chocolate chips or it might be something much more unhealthy like a cupcake. I try not to get hung up on it. But on nights when the husband is working (which you are very used to...) sometimes I just give in, it keeps the peace and gives me some sanity. So please know you aren't the only one out there that struggles with this issue!
You are doing fine!!! Relax. Kids will be kids. I used to stress out about what the kids did or didn't eat. Not so much anymore. My 2 yr old is going through a picky stage. If she doesn't eat dinner (and she says she's hungry) I offer a slice of cheese before bed. If they want a snack between meals and they didn't eat the previous food offered, I try to make sure it's a protein or veggie (like a slice of turkey, cheese stick or carrots). The other night my 2 yr old ate nothing but broccoli. I didn't stress out about making her eat the chicken, she wasn't in the mood for chicken that night.
I try to limit the treats. Once a month we get doughnuts. Whatever, it's a treat.
One kid loves eggs, the others hate 'em or are allergic. One loves oatmeal. Offer a variety. Do your best to offer whole food, healthy versions. You are doing great.....
Just keep trying! I grew up extremely picky but also with parents that catered to me. It was a battle of the wills and sometimes they gave up. I also didn't grow up with a lot of healthy choices so when I found myself overweight as an adult, I had to retrain my taste buds and force myself to keep trying new things/ways to prepare healthy options until I found what I liked. Just keep offering them different things but don't cave in! :)
That's what I'm so scared of. I feel like if I'm not strict now it will only get worse and I don't want to set them up for disaster later.
I wish I had your mindset. It seems like the more relaxed you are the better off it is. Meaning the more you don't push it the better off you are. I need a different approach in terms of them eating it or not. :)
Also, saw this link today and thought of you!
http://www.organicdeals.com/home/2013/2/20/free-paleo-e-cookbooks-today.html
I think you are doing a great job, you are a very conscientious parent and make deliberate choices when it comes to food. I would just keep offering what you are offering and move forward with your food planning whether or not they like all of it. As long as you know each meal has one thing they definitely like (and then maybe one other thing they normally like) you are in business. The waste is unfortunate but unless you are prepared to be really hard core about that, you can expect they will go through different phases where they are hungrier or less hungry and some days there won't be as much waste. Maybe try smaller portions of the things you "know" they like as an incentive to eat more of the things you know they "should" like. (i.e. If they ask for more rice, you can tell them they have to eat one of the other things on their plate first). I feel like it takes so much focus to get my kids to eat well every meal every day, I just accept that there will be good days and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks, because my focus is required in too many places; I try to keep a "big picture" point of view. As an aside, I grew up in a household where everything was home made, no treats allowed ever, and on one hand I am grateful because I do appreciate good food and know how to cook, but on the other hand, I never learned to control myself when it came to "treats" and to this day struggle with that. So I try to follow "everything in moderation" and hope that modeling healthy eating and lifestyle, that understanding when one is full or when one has had enough for oneself (instead of being told by one's mother), will win in the end.
When mine are little, like 6 months- 1 year, and then i do the same technique during any picky phases...I only offer one food at a time, starting with what I want them to eat most. So only put the carrots on their plate. When those are gone, put the ground turkey on their plate, when that is gone, then offer the crackers. Keep the next food completely out of site. Even now Alyssa knows she may not eat all of her carb (whole wheat roll, rice, etc) first. She may eat some, but she knows if she eats it all first and then complains she isn't hungry aka she doesnt want the rest, i will start withholding her beloved whole grains. (she would eat 5 rolls for dinner everynight, girl after my own heart!) I expect my kids to eat just about everything i put on their plates at every meal. I only put on their plates what i feel they should eat. If i see them slowing down or i can tell if they are full, i will tell them they dont have to finish if they are full. But i refuse to have them take 3 bites of a healthy dinner i cooked, say they are full, then ask for a snack an hour later. But I am in the strict parenting category that beleives as a society we have started giving our children waaaay too much say in their lives. They are children and need heavy guidance and something as important as nutrition isnt something i am going to be laid back about and watch them put things into their bodies i strongly beleive against. I think olives are the only food my kids really just dislike, but other than that, if its on their plates, they will eat it.
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